Is it possible to simply love without expectation, like we do our children? Perhaps then when giving and receiving do not align, we may be less disappointed and more accepting of the unrequited nature of love.
I work in a psychiatric facility treating children and adolescents. Many of the children here are in Social Services custody. Some of them were taken from their biological mothers shortly after being born, as they'd already been abused so horrifically at such a young age.
Many of these children don't understand why they're not allowed to call their mothers. It's often court-ordered, as the potential for further victimization is too great if they establish contact with their mothers again.
But that doesn't answer their question, "Why can't I call my Mama?"
Even though they've been hurt, their mama's eyes are the first they can remember, and they still love Mama unconditionally, even though she won't love them back, even hurt them.
These children love so openly with such abandon, and it brings tears to my eyes. They love with no regard to whether their love will be requited. That's a special strength I pray for, to love wholeheartedly, whether it's returned or not.
The older I get, the more I enjoy the act of loving someone or something. And when it's a person, I'm of course glad if they love me back in a similar way. And when it's a thing, I'm glad there are others who love the same thing in a similar way.
Yep was true - until I got a cat.
Cats are under appreciated. Everyone should have one!
I have experienced requited love in the giving. When I feel another receiving love without expectation, my heart receives, too.
Is it possible to simply love without expectation, like we do our children? Perhaps then when giving and receiving do not align, we may be less disappointed and more accepting of the unrequited nature of love.
Very true
Well said
loving = giving
David, I recently fell in love with your writing on the Waking Up App: devouring all that I could listen to. I'm happy to find you on here!
I work in a psychiatric facility treating children and adolescents. Many of the children here are in Social Services custody. Some of them were taken from their biological mothers shortly after being born, as they'd already been abused so horrifically at such a young age.
Many of these children don't understand why they're not allowed to call their mothers. It's often court-ordered, as the potential for further victimization is too great if they establish contact with their mothers again.
But that doesn't answer their question, "Why can't I call my Mama?"
Even though they've been hurt, their mama's eyes are the first they can remember, and they still love Mama unconditionally, even though she won't love them back, even hurt them.
These children love so openly with such abandon, and it brings tears to my eyes. They love with no regard to whether their love will be requited. That's a special strength I pray for, to love wholeheartedly, whether it's returned or not.
This is beautiful. The way you describe love as something given rather than mirrored feels both grounding and freeing.
The older I get, the more I enjoy the act of loving someone or something. And when it's a person, I'm of course glad if they love me back in a similar way. And when it's a thing, I'm glad there are others who love the same thing in a similar way.