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David Whyte's avatar

We tend to think of 'enlightenment' as an abstract, as being a state above all suffering, but Buddha asked his followers in very intimate terms to follow heartbreak to its very end, to see it as part of any ultimate understanding, in effect to say the very last goodbye, to be completely present to 'everything ceasing', to everything we are constantly being asked to let go of, to the very origin of our pain, and thereby to let it flower into something else. I ran into this lovely family group for only a very brief train ride through the mountains of central Japan, but the chemistry and poignancy of the encounter and the tidal manner in which they suddenly had to leave, and the image they left in my camera, waving to me from an obscure country station platform, seemed to embody all the hellos and goodbyes I had ever made. -DW

anjillee schwarz's avatar

So grateful for your expression here. Heartbreak is the counterpoint 🎶of sincerity . Touch down 〰

Susan Drouilhet's avatar

The heart that can stay with that task, indeed to its very end, is a courageous heart indeed. A heart which is no heart at all - but possibly just flame. The self - and all its accoutrements - composting itself, to ultimately, as you say, flower into something else. That to me feels like the real en-light-enment - well-deserved and hard-earned - grounded and embodied - and free.

Thank you for this beautiful essay and reminder, David. I needed to hear this today.

avalon's avatar
4dEdited

I must have read and studied this piece in my book of Consolations over one hundred times as I was going through my divorce. Up until this point, I'd thought heartbreak was something to be avoided. Allowing the terror involved with coming into alignment with my own truth has changed my life and the orientation I have to my own choices.

I didn't die. Heartbreak broke me open.

Poetry Tracks In the Snow's avatar

I returned to the nursing home where my Dad died 3 years ago. My heart swelled and broke open when the 2 long-tenured staff I talked to responded to my question “do you remember my Dad?” With “oh Mr Austin, we still talk fondly of him - his kindness and gentle spirit”. The maintenance man who is probably 5’9” said, my Dad would always say, Charles I have a few inches on you and wink. My Dad was 6’5” 💛😊💛

Wayne Rainey's avatar

I loved this so much. It resonates so deeply and reminded me instantly of two songs I just heard. Of course there’s Neil Young with the line, “well only love can break your heart.” That was low fruit. But perhaps Bill Callahan in his Say Valley Maker nails it best with:

Well I never really realized

Death is what it meant

To make it on my own

'Cause there is no love

Where there is no obstacle

And there is no love

Where there is no bramble

And there is no love

On the hacked away plateau

And there is no love

In the unerring

And there is no love

On the one true path

Oh I cantered out here

Now I'm galloping back

Nirvan Words and Photos's avatar

Just as the shell of a nut breaks open for new life to emerge.

Stephen Nicholas's avatar

Yes, an old friend, I wish I didn't have to greet! The Paul Simon lyric also arise in my mind " . . . Hello darkness my old friend .. . "

Angie in HK's avatar

Just the Right moment to explore this again. Heartbreak Is so much more than what we think. You remind me of this with your beautiful words David

Mary Tolbert's avatar

Thank you for this. It came as a reminder to not look down upon heartache but to ask what it wants me to learn.

Autonomousdrone's avatar

I’m a expert on Buddhism and I’m seriously unimpressed

Autonomousdrone's avatar

Sounds like refried Trungpa. Bullshit

Autonomousdrone's avatar

How about I point out how poor your grasping at Buddhist teaching is ?

You don’t mind ?

Autonomousdrone's avatar

We ? Why do you feel you are an authority Mr teacher ? I’m Karma Kagyu

Autonomousdrone's avatar

there are these four factors of striving for purity that the Blessed One, the Arahant, the Perfectly Enlightened One, knowing and seeing, has rightly expounded for the purification of beings, for the overcoming of sorrow and lamentation, for the passing away of pain and dejection, for the achievement of the method, for the realization of nibbana. What four? 1. The factor of striving for purity of virtuous behavior; 2. the factor of striving for purity of mind; 3. the factor of striving for purity of view, and 4. the factor of striving for purity of liberation …” (https://suttacentral.net/an4.194/en/sujato)

Autonomousdrone's avatar

The resultant vehicle (Skt. phalayāna; Tib. འབྲས་བུའི་ཐེག་པ་, https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Wyl.'bras bu'i theg pa), or ‘fruitional vehicle’ refers to the https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Tantrayana (aka https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Mantrayana or https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Vajrayana). It is called ‘fruitional’ or ‘resultant’, because the path is no longer based on establishing the cause (as in the https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Causal_vehicle), but identifying directly with the fruition—the fundamentally pure essence of mind, or https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Buddha_nature, which has been present within our minds from the very beginning, but has been temporarily obscured.

https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Longchenpa says:

The resultant vehicles are so called because of asserting that the basis for purification is the https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Buddha_nature endowed with qualities that are spontaneously present as a natural possession in https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Sentient_beings, just as the sun is endowed with rays of light; that the objects of purification are the temporary defilements of the https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Eight_collections_of_consciousness, like the sky being (temporarily) obscured by clouds; and that one realizes the result of purification, the primordially present nature by means of that which purifies, the paths of ripening and liberation. https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Resultant_vehicle#cite_note-1

References

https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Padmasambhava & https://www.rigpawiki.org/index.php?title=Jamg%C3%B6n_Kongtrul, The Light of Wisdom Vol. One, translated by Erik Pema Kunsang (Boudhanath: Rangjung Yeshe Publications, 1999), pages 152-153.

Karen De Gregorio's avatar

I often find m heart aching for people I haven’t yet met. Thanks for this lovely reflection.

M Hart's avatar

This, indeed. That there's credence in the nagging disappointment, not as a giving up but a giving in, to heartbreak. That's brilliant. That's helpful. That's uhm, liberating. So much easier than trying to figure out love. Argh, me bad at that. Did I get that right? It's ok? This think me can do. Seems too easy, but that after 60 years of the other, maybe more like a simpler, more elegant question.